it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
