I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
