was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
