I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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