Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
