you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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