I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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