my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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