What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
