my vag is so smooth its legendary
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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