the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
where am i from again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
