come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
