Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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