Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
