I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
