3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
