i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
