I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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