It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
