i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
