i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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