Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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