i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
COCAINE IS GR8
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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