Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
