girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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