I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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