Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
