i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A+ Viking dick
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
