'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
