the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
