There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
