Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
