4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
