we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
