in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
