I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
