You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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