Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
