thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
