You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
