Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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