You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
