did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
