he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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