it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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