The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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