apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
