his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
