Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
