Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
