I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize